Terkelu seketika...

Pagi tadi masa aku nak pergi hantar borang untuk bos aku tandatangan, tetiba dia soh aku duduk sekejap dalam bilik dia. senyap sekejap sebab dia tengah tengok borang yg aku bagi tu... dalam 20 saat berlalu dia pun bersuara, "sebenarnya susah saya nak dapat tandatangan bos  besar untuk sambung kontrak awak kat sini..." aku diam, beri peluang bos aku sambung ayat dia lagi... " Bos  besar persoalkan, kenapa kita perlu ambik dia ni sedangkan kerja2 yang dia buat ni, budak SPM boleh buat, x perlu budak ijazah untuk buat", bos bagi tahu, "saya senaraikan lah ape kerja awak yg awak buat selama awak kerja kat sini"... lepas tu bos sambung lagi ape yg bos besar cakap..."sebab kita abik dia untuk dia bagi buah fikiran yg bernas bukan untuk buat kerja2 macam tu..." bos tarik napas, lepas tu dia pandang aku..." harap awak x terasa la dengan ape yg bos besar cakap tu, mungkin dia nak awak tunjukkan sesuatu bukan hanya pandai buat kerja je, saya tahu awak boleh buat kerja, tapi bagi dia (bos besar) dia nak kan awak tunjukkan sesuatu yg awak boleh buat dia rsa kagum... bukan hanya tahu buat kerja je..." "saya cadangkan awak bnyk terlibat dalam presentation "worksimp", tunjukkan dekat dia awaknya idea. Tu IOU nya form kira2 tu, saya x paham bila tengok, tapi kalau awak boleh ubah bagi format yg saya senang paham kan bgus... tu cuma saya punya idea je la.. .awak abik subjek ape dulu?" "aku cakap perpustakaan.." " oh pengurusan perpustakaan kan, ha guna lah ape yg awak belajar kat perpustakaan tu kat c ni" abis bos cakap aku diam... senyap kejap sebab x thu nk bg ape2 sebab tentang ape dia bg thu tu... sudah nya aku cakap "baiklah bos, saya cuba la buat ape yg saya mampu...". aku keluar dengan muka blur dan fikiran aku terus bergerak mencari konklusi ape yg bos cuba sampaikan... ape yg aku paham, lepas 3 bulan nih, aku dah boleh cari kerja lain kalau aku x dapat tunjukkan sesuatu kat mereka...hurm payah aku nak gambarkan perasaan aku sekarang...x cukup rupanya hanya sekadar boleh buat kerja dan mudah paham bila suruh buat kerja. Rupanya ade lagi yg perlu ade...Tapi yg aku x pahamnya, bos aku jugak yg bagi kerja SPM tu kat aku, x pernah pon bg peluang kat aku untuk tnya berbaloi ke saya buat kerja nih.... dan ape yg aku paham aku di suruh untuk kerja kat c tu mmg untuk buat kerja2 cam tu...

Aku pon masih berpikir, kenapa masa dia abik aku yg sepatutnya kat division lain tapi di serapkan ke division tu, diorang x pk pasal nk bagi aku kerja SPM ke x... lepas tu kene persoal aku d bgi kerja SPM, trus aku x paham... Aku masuk kat c tu tanpa di beri peluang untuk memperkenalkan diri aku atau bahsa mudah nya di temuduga... diorang pon x thu aku abik perpustakaan...lepas tu mungkin baru perasan kot lain sangat perpustakaan dengan kerja2 admin nih...hurm.. tapi tu la, perlu ke aku blame diorang sebab abik aku tanpa kaji sape aku... x perlu rasanya... mungkin ni rezeki aku tuhan bagi kan, so aku pk aku terima je dulu... sampai masa nanti aku akan cuba tnyakan hak aku balik... Mungkin org akan gelakkan aku sebab elok2 dapat tempat kerja best lepas tu brenti  pasal x "capable" so terus je jadi penganggur balik... x pe la, aku just pegang prinsip ni je... rezeki ALLAH bagi, kerana ALLAH x nk bagi aku jadi x betul, kat ctu, mungkin, so dia tempatkan aku tempat yg sesuai dengan aku...INSYAALLAH...  Tapi kalau aku masih di terima kat c tu selepas 3 bulan nih.. ALHAMDULILLAH... mungkin rezeki aku kat c tu...sape tahu kan...

### Sometimes we have to endure somethings that we should not to endure...so have to be tough...     

     

To Many To Thinks About...

Many things to be done, and many things to be explore and many things to thinks about. Sometimes felt like there is no time to cater all things. But i like 1 words from someone, he said "many things can be gone and many things can disappear... but 1 things that god still remains to us...hope" why hope because if we still have have hope its mean our life still can be done well... Don't know whether this thought can be use or not, but for me there is logic behind the words...

At last, my contract work at my company that I work right now remains the same. They extend my contract 3 month. Thats means I'll be there for more three month... After that still remains mystery. Good to work here if I can be permanent here, but the problems is, hard to be permanent here. But for me good experience from here maybe I can apply in the my new working environment.. whose know right...

***Many memories I got here but still missing somethings...

Menghitung hari...

Sedar tak sedar dh dekat 9 bulan aku kat ctu. Macam x caye je aku mampu bertahan 9 bulan kat ctu. Tapi kalau benar seperti yg aku rasakan bulan ni tamatlah sejarah aku kat ctu. Sejarah baru lak aku perlu ciptakan. Kalau memang sudah takdirnya aku dah x bersama di situ, aku perlu gunakan apa yang aku belajar kat c tu untk di praktikan di tempat baru nanti kalau aku dapat la mana2... hehhe. Tapi aku redha je klu aku dh x bersama lagi kat c tu.Aku yakin tuhan tu dah tetapkan rezeki untuk aku, sebab tu dia letakan aku kat c tu dulu untuk aku paham erti sebuah pekerjaan....  Lepas ni mudh untuk aku adapt dengan tempat baru...

semoga aku berjaya mengharungi semua ini...insyaALLAH...

Teruskan...

Aku takut sebelum nie untuk teruskan ape yang aku cuba dapatkan. Bukan x nak, tapi mungkin aku kurang keyakinan. sebab bila aku cuba untuk teruskan, semua anggota badan terutama hati dan otak aku menolak segala yang aku mahu teruskan. Macam2 kata2 sinis keluar dari segenap ruang badan, seperti seluruh anggota tahu apa bakal jadi kalau perkara itu di teruskan. Aku tewas dengan saranan itu... Tapi sampai bila, benarkah kata hati itu sungguh bernilai... perasaan itu berangkai dan otak itu berakal...BENAR...

Tapi mengapa aku masih begini....

VISION>>> 2

Learning is a process that all people had faces everyday, sometimes is helped sometimes is just something to understand and just to keep for our self to remember. But for me the best part about learning is we always can improved our selves to be better everyday and for our whole entire life.

I learn every days especially to improve my works skills. Every days I came to office my mind set to reduce my mistakes in done the works given. But what I always wanted not always on my plan. I thought I have done well, but at the end, still have mistakes here and there. But for me the mistakes that I have done not all cause by me. It depend on the situation the jobs has been given to me. I can says, if have someone be at my place, he or she can also do the same mistake I have done. But for sure when I do the mistakes, people will questioning back to me, "you not supposed to do like this, you have to do same in what we have told you", for your information when I do this before this mistakes never happened, I can do all in well". When someone tell me like that, it make me think, it is she or he are perfect that never do wrong in their life. If that so I think she or he have same level like our prophet. Because prophet is some one that have guidance from God to protect them to do the wrong things. But i think I have to be realistic regarding this thing. I'm just a lower rank people there, so just follow the rules until I cannot endure and tried hard to get new life and new career. Hope so. But here I also can tell that all I have faces along my works life is a process of learning.

So have a vision is important to aim in long term what we especially or me want to achieved. I know its hard, but if god allow and my hard try I never thought that I can't achieved it. Because I believed Allah and I will never stop prayer to achieved my vision....

***sometimes, be naive can also helped us to get somethings...

VISION>>>

Every each of people in these world have their own vision. So do I. But for me the most important things is not the vision but the things that we do to achieve our vision. I also one of the man that have a vision. But don't know why, right now I felt so hard to achieve my Vision. I always think what will I do or done after 5 years from now... I still don't get any answer regarding of this. Some people think, do a hard things first before you can get better life after that. I do agreed with this statements but the question is how hard you can stand and how long you can bear with all the hard things. For me good you have experience doing the hard things but you have to make sure after this you will get better life.

In my situation right now, i just learn about how to works and get money. Because before this i never works in formal. I just work at stall at my house, doing part time petrol boy and learn how to manage small stall. That's all I have learn things related to my works experiences. I do surprised when i got offer to do practical works at the company i have works right now. Something i 'm not prepared to happen. Here i learn a lot especially regarding time management....

Memerhati & Reality

Aku bila jalan2 je terutama dekat KLCC or mana2 la, aku suka memerhatikan orang. Dh macam tebiat lazim lak. Bkn pe suke tengok gelagat org tu. Macam2 ada (pinjam tag line maskot Astro: x silap dah meninggal dh rasanya org tua yg jadi duta Astro nih). Bagi aku bila melihat ekspresi muka2 orang yang lalu lalang tu aku macm dapat agak ape kelakuan org tu. itu cuma akunye rasa je la.

Baru2 nih boss aku tnya aku, "awak ade kerja yang awak minat x"? , aku jawab kat dia,"kalau ikutkan saya nk la kerja macam bidang saya ambik masa kat U dulu tu, library". "Awk x tnya kat bawah ade kosong x"? Dah tnya bos tapi memang x de nk pakai org, lagipon dept tu kecik je". "so kat c ni cam ne"? saya ok je boss x kisah pon. "ade mintak mana2 x sekarang nih"? ade bos tapi xde rezeki lagi"...Oh...(hening...). Lepas je perbualan tu, aku terus berpikir kejap, betul ke jawapan aku bagi tu...hurmm... aku harap dia xde la pk len2 anggap aku x ske ke kerja kat c tu... sebab bagi aku jawapan aku bagi tu masih selamat lagi...bg dia x taulah aku.

Makin lama aku kerja aku makin dapat paham macam mana sukarnya nk berkerja nih. lebih2 lagi kerja dengan syarikat korporat, semuanya nk cepat x paham aku. Maybe kalau lambat leh rugi company tu nnti kot. Mungkin...

***Leave without hesitation...